"This little piggy goes to the doctor".......and gets a shot in the bum

For the past week or so the "index toe" on my left foot has caused me some serious discomfort. One night I couldn't even sleep due to the itch intensity. Now I'm no rash/itch expert (or am I?) but it seemed to me that I picked up some sort of bacteria on my little 2nd-in-command. I typically squeeze 2 days out of each wool sock so I figured my socks felt overworked and were getting revenge on me. After 5 days of no improvement I figured it was time to pay a visit my old friend: the Korean clinic.

After complaining to my go-to, Paul, about the itching and redness, he contracted the help of Junyoung and the new guy at school serving his two-year mandatory national service (Junyoung's replacement), who is a Korean-American raised in Seattle, of all places, named Roger, to take me to the clinic. I can foresee it being nice to have Roger around since he's fluent in Korean. And he's a cool dude too (but who isn't from Seattle; shout out to Kitchell and my Issaquah cousins).

Anyways, we left school at 4:30 (and not a minute earlier, Vice Principal, I swear....), hailed a cab, and headed for a dermatologist in Yatap, my hood. Like my other healthcare experiences in Korea, the dermatologist visit was smooth sailing. Roger did the talking and I did the head nodding. After giving the receptionist my Alien Registration Card (or what we call the ARC on the streets) to take care of insurance issues, I waited less than five minutes to directly to see the man in charge. His English was average, but had pretty good medical English (he's a doctor after all). I took my sock off to show him the "infection" and he immediately started touching my itchy toe. If anyone should be taking precaution with a potentially contagious foot infection, shouldn't a dermatologist??? 

He then took a magnifying glass to my poor little guy and after about 10 seconds of contemplation, he hit me with the news. Guesses anyone??

If you guessed eczema (I had to look up the spelling), deduct 3 points for you are wrong. The official diagnosis was frostbite. FROSTBITE?! When he told me I second guessed him. And can you blame me? Now I'm no eskimo (Bob Dylan would beg the differ), but I figured I were ever to develop a case of frostbite it would be in Wisconsin......or HIKING MT. EVEREST. Not in Korea. But since we're on the topic, let me complain for a little bit. The schools heat most of their rooms but never their hallways. If you are teaching (or taught) in Korea, this isn't news. And if you know someone else here and they've already told you, it isn't news for you either. But for the others, lemme tell ya, it gets cold in school. [B]rrrreal cold. And It was okay at first. Wearing a sweater at school. Putting on the wool socks. Wearing gloves while teaching. But frostbite is the final straw. It's too cold. My feet have literally been borderline numb all week. And I paid the price (which was only about $5 for the check-up, the meds, and the shot in the bum. Yes, a shot in the bum. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm all about the Korean healthcare system). So, in the future, if you should ever find yourself faced with the following question: 

"Do you know if Korea gets cold in the winter?"

You can matter-of-factly say, "Why yes! I do know! Some jackass who writes a blog about Korea got frostbite doing day-to-day stuff. Yeah, I know. What a sap!"

Ok don't say that.  But you get the picture. This brings me to my next topic: the bum shot. No not Bum Shots, nor Bum Shots 2 (probably movies, I said probably!). The bum shot. Now I've heard in the past that it is very difficult to avoid the bum shot when you go to see the doctor in Korea. I was 2 for 2 before this doctor visit in not getting anally injected (Sorry, I debated about making this joke for about 30 seconds but decided to go with it in the end). This time I did not have such luck.

After chatting with the doc about how often to take my medication, apply the cream, etc. he told me to go into the room next door for a shot. I've always been curious what's in this shot. I'm assuming it's just vitamins and immune system boosters but who knows (do you?). 

The nurse, who spoke little to no English, told me to pull down my pants for the shot. Before I could even ask if she wanted me laying on a table on my stomach (it's how I've always imagined bum shots to go down), she'd already pulled out the syringe and was ready to penetrate. Since I'm what you would call a needle namby-pamby (thanks thesaurus.com), I decided to stall. I asked her if she wanted me to put all of my weight on the leg that wasn't receiving the poke. She looked at me slightly puzzled and answered in Korean. Then, she backed up and kept saying something to me in Korean. At this point, I'm extremely confused. My pants are halfway down. The nurse is yelling at me. And the receptionist, who can see me because the door in between the nurse's office and receptionist area is open, is looking at me laughing. Finally the nurse abandons the Korean and laughingly says to me in English "You are done now. Please pull up your pants." At this moment the receptionist bursts out laughing as I realized I was already poked. Korean nurse-1, me-0. If only shots were this easy in the States no one, myself included, would ever have a phobia of them from such a young age. Or maybe she used a numbing pad. Or maybe I'm just growing up and finally getting over that stupid phobia. Nah it was probably the numbing pad.

Here's a picture of my toes. The photo doesn't really do it justice but the vice big toe is very red near the nail. 

 

You thought the post was done eh? Sorry to inform you but I still have more to say. After the visit (and countless jokes about how my feet are so soft and delicate at the hands of Junyoung and Roger), the guys accompanied me to buy some more warm socks. Ones that I can sleep in so my feet aren't freezing in the middle of night. Even though Junyoung had to go to his second job, and Roger barely knew me, both insisted they come along. And that's what I love about Koreans. Once they open up to you, they are extremely generous and friendly. They see to it that you are taken care of in their country and I am very grateful, not only for Junyoung and Roger, but for the numerous Koreans who have taken the time to help a waygook out.

So to conclude, I'm blaming my Mom. She must have jinxed me as a toddler when she grabbed my toe number toe and said "this little piggy goes to the doctor".....

Just kidding Mom. Love you.