I had my actual first day of school yesterday. The day started with a big welcoming assembly for the new principal and 5 new teachers. Me being one of them. All the kids were standing, lined up in perfect rows facing the stage. The new principal was introduced right after a few bouts of what I assume was the national and school anthems. After she spoke for a few minutes, the school discipline guy came to the podium. Imagine a strict father scolding his 600 children after finding out they took out his Lamborghini (or, keeping the Korean theme going, a really expensive Kia Sportage (oxymoron)) and totaled it. It was a sight to see lemme tell ya. I asked one of my co-teachers, Paul, what he was saying. Apparently the school was sick of spending so much money on toilet paper and the kids were making TP bombs. The man-with-a-lit-match-up-his-ass wasn't having any bit of these shenanigans. Also he told the kids smoking was bad. The fact that this guy is the face of anti-smoking is probably the reason why so many Koreans smoke. Fail.
After the angry rant, all of the new teachers, including me, came up on stage. I was a little nervous-excited because I was told I would have to say a few words to the kids. I had been scheming up a half-Korean, half-English bit that would shock and awe. Unfortunately only one teacher got to speak. I got to save the embarrassment for another day. The did, however, go down the line of teachers and introduce them with names only. Each teacher got a cordial clap from the masses until it was my turn. Apparently Korean boys are enamored with blonde American dudes because the whole gym was hootin-n-hollarin. After that moment it hit me. I am really far from home.
My first class started a little rough: 40 kids and a teaching virgin. There was supposed to be a Korean English teacher there guiding the way, but she was in a meeting. Perfect. Classes last 45 minutes and for this week I'm just supposed to do introductions. So I made a little powerpoint about myself. One of the slides is a picture of Julie and I at graduation. I wanted to show them pictures from the UW. The second the photo hits the screen all you can hear is "Ohhhhhh! Gurfriend! She is gurfriend?? Ohhh! Girlfriend! (This whole "girlfriend" thing went down like clockwork for every class and continues to happen to this day. Korean kids love the idea of girlfriends I guess)15 minutes later, I had exercised my plan for the day. Go figure a "powerpoint about myself" runs a little short. Story of my life I guess. Anyways, we played impromptu hangman and everything ended up working out. Phew!
Other highlights of the day:
-Every single class has at least 10 kids that come up before and after class and say "You. Vely handsome." Things to note: Korean dudes have unabashed affection for other dudes; "handsome" is defintely an English word taught in schools; Korean kids are suckups (I'm sure not all of these are true, just for the record ;)
-During lunch, a girl from the English department told me it's a scientific fact that learning how to use chopsticks "makes brain smartuh"
-Holy crap I'm in Korea!
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